Dear Sarah Palin,

You're a more than a bit vapid, but here are some protips if you want to keep thrusting yourself in the public eye.

-It's called an atlas. Fucking utilize it. For that matter, also use encyclopedias, dictionaries and science journals before going before a camera and embarrassing yourself, your family and your country. You wonder why other countries call our education lacking? Take a good look at yourself. You graduated college, but you really can't tell. Do some goddamn research.

-The election is over. You embarrassed the Republican candidate, and the party itself. You make yourself look bitter and frankly fucking stupid by continuing to comment on the current goings on, as if your opinion is still relevant, and as if you are actually aware of what's going on. If you weren't taken seriously during the election, what makes you think people are going to take you seriously after you've lost? Badly? Without grace?

-If you're going to be interviewed, you need to get your shit together. For fucks sake, write down your thoughts, your answers, your points of view on notecards or something. Anything's better than you stumbling over your words, using the wrong ones, and squawking back the same fucking talking points like a fucking parrot. Especially when you use the wrong answer during a question.

-Your vagina is not a clown car. Get your tubes tied, already. With how active you are in politics, you don't have time to be popping out any more babies, lest you start to neglect them.

-If you don't want comedians to take pot-shots at your family, don't parade them in front of the camera for your bullshit politics. If you make them a matter of public record, then you make them as vulnerable to comedians, the opposing party and everyone else with an opinion as you are. Your family, especially your children, are not political leverage. Leave them at home.

-If you wish to be taken seriously, you should not take "blessings" from crazed religious fanatics known for hunting "witches" in Africa. Please, please, please grow some fucking common sense.

-Stating that you know gay people does not make it alright to help strip gays of their rights. If anything, that makes you a horrible person.

I really, really, seriously, verily hate you. I think you make our gender look horrible in the ring of politics, and you prove the point of the sexists who think we shouldn't be in politics. I wish you would crawl into a hole and stop making television and radio appearances, so I could stop getting so damn mad every time I see your idiot, vapid, deer-in-the-headlights expression.

Just... go away. Please. The adults are talking.